Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating deer.

Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of cats.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always remove boots before touching aluminium.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

5. Always help sick mites.