Podspagciss is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, benevolent rhinoceros.

Podspagciss created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podspagciss, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Podspagciss, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Podspagciss' most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Podspagciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snails.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Feed all hungry eagles.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Podspagciss on top of all buildings.

5. You must pray to Podspagciss three times a day.