Quillparkcuss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witless horse.

Quillparkcuss created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillparkcuss, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quillparkcuss, he will destroy your home solar system.

Quillparkcuss' most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Quillparkcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

3. Retreat if five dolphins approach from the south.

4. Never hurt shrews.

5. Do not wear kilts marked with turquoise.