Joptiffom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust giraffe.

Joptiffom created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Joptiffom, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Joptiffom, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Joptiffom's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Joptiffom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Do not take Joptiffom's name in vain.

3. Always wear plain tights during rituals.

4. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

5. Never sprint in holy places.