Dussquamloop is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, almighty dugong.

Dussquamloop created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussquamloop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dussquamloop, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Dussquamloop's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dussquamloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

2. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

3. Do not hurt cats.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Never mark doors with purple.