Zendudsis is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthinking salamander.

Zendudsis created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zendudsis, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zendudsis, it will not care.

Zendudsis' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Zendudsis' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.