Veengebcutcuss Garfit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, impressive squid.

Veengebcutcuss Garfit created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veengebcutcuss Garfit, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Veengebcutcuss Garfit, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Veengebcutcuss Garfit's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Veengebcutcuss Garfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midnight.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Never prepare turnips during winter.

4. Do not prepare grapes while filled with anger.

5. Always obey Veengebcutcuss Garfit's priests.