Yartquillvan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, able dragonfly.

Yartquillvan created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Yartquillvan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yartquillvan, she will be very unhappy.

Yartquillvan's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Yartquillvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not keep nine whales in a large pit.