Fasfatmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, omnipotent tapir.

Fasfatmeg created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasfatmeg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fasfatmeg, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fasfatmeg's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Fasfatmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Do not prepare bread while filled with fear.