Bonkbutsand is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid alligator.

Bonkbutsand created the Andromeda Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbutsand, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bonkbutsand, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bonkbutsand's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bonkbutsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.