Pinkan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty weasel.

Pinkan created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Pinkan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pinkan, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pinkan's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Pinkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

2. Always look after injured whales.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Pinkan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always share gooseberries with strangers, but never with voles.

5. Never wear purple scarves on sacred days.