Funtarpwan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciful sheep.

Funtarpwan created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funtarpwan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Funtarpwan, she will have a low opinion of you.

Funtarpwan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Funtarpwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never touch water while tainted.

3. Do not take Funtarpwan's name in vain.

4. Always store tomatoes above ground.

5. You must pray to Funtarpwan four times a day.