Pidveenfid is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, deceitful faun.

Pidveenfid created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidveenfid, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pidveenfid, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Pidveenfid's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Pidveenfid's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. You must never eat onions.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help eagles.