Fagmat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, slow gorilla.

Fagmat created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagmat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fagmat, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fagmat's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Fagmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow grasshopers to witness sacred rites.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fagmat.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not skip in public.