Fumweghamwot is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, almighty walrus.

Fumweghamwot created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumweghamwot, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fumweghamwot, she will turn you into a goat.

Fumweghamwot's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Fumweghamwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare lemons during summer.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

4. Do not place carrots upon stone.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.