Flapappvidtam Lamjigbegbogcit Stikcambaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical crow.

Flapappvidtam Lamjigbegbogcit Stikcambaf created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapappvidtam Lamjigbegbogcit Stikcambaf, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flapappvidtam Lamjigbegbogcit Stikcambaf, he will curse you with boils.

Flapappvidtam Lamjigbegbogcit Stikcambaf's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Flapappvidtam Lamjigbegbogcit Stikcambaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always share beans with strangers, but never with hamsters.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Flapappvidtam Lamjigbegbogcit Stikcambaf in the centre of the settlement.