Stansinteencat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, kind zebra.

Stansinteencat created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stansinteencat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stansinteencat, she will remove you from existence.

Stansinteencat's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Stansinteencat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon green earth.

2. Erect nine iron sculptures of Stansinteencat on top of important buildings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Never eat aubergines on holy days.