Ontstangad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, merciful monkey.

Ontstangad created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Ontstangad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ontstangad, he will not invite you to parties.

Ontstangad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ontstangad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce at mountains.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

5. Do not resist chaos.