Funnatbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fast dolphin.

Funnatbarn created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Funnatbarn, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Funnatbarn, he will ignore you.

Funnatbarn's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Funnatbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Never think about special relativity near sharks while wearing purple shirts and balancing four aluminium spheres on your feet.

4. Never point your face toward the east during prayer.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.