Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid raccoon.

Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never whisper while facing south.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Never adorn your arms with orange markings.