Armpogpop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, emotional mouse.

Armpogpop created the Whirlpool Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armpogpop, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Armpogpop, he will manifest in front of you.

Armpogpop's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Armpogpop's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never cross rivers at dusk.

3. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with tapirs.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

5. Worship no other gods but Armpogpop.