Gamfidfon is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, boastful pig.

Gamfidfon created the Virgo Supercluster seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamfidfon, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gamfidfon, she will cry a lot.

Gamfidfon's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gamfidfon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red mice, for they are unholy.

2. Always wash your back before prayer.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.