Parkbanzim is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, loving ferret.

Parkbanzim created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Parkbanzim, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Parkbanzim, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Parkbanzim's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Parkbanzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

2. Parkbanzim must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Never cross rivers at dusk.

5. Never play with disobedient children.