Tondotfem is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, selfish swallow.

Tondotfem created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tondotfem, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tondotfem, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tondotfem's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tondotfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always help cats.

5. Always help porpoises in need.