Gephinpig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud clam.

Gephinpig created everything that exists two years ago.

If you believe in Gephinpig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gephinpig, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gephinpig's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Gephinpig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Gephinpig on top of all buildings.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never chant in the presence of elders.

4. Hide from black foxes for they are unholy.

5. Pray only in darkness.