Sisstanjop is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident aardvark.

Sisstanjop created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sisstanjop, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sisstanjop, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Sisstanjop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sisstanjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.