Jabruttit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, tiresome narwhal.

Jabruttit created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabruttit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jabruttit, it will turn you into a mole.

Jabruttit's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Jabruttit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never gather three voles in one place.

5. Do not wear hats marked with gray.