Hitspagneg is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, overgenerous lobster.

Hitspagneg created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitspagneg, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hitspagneg, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hitspagneg's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hitspagneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about pineapples.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never record numbers.