Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, almighty coyote.

Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin.

2. Never feed tomatoes to tortoises while wearing coats.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Never chant while facing north.

5. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.