Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonourable jellyfish.

Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Do not kill ducks.

3. Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

5. Feed all hungry mice.