Nartloopstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-assured swallow.

Nartloopstaf created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartloopstaf, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nartloopstaf, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nartloopstaf's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Nartloopstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume lemons at dawn.

2. Do not bounce at rivers.

3. Always share lentils with strangers, but never with whales.

4. Never adorn your arms with yellow markings.

5. Never talk about planets.