Labquillbit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, thoughtless centipede.

Labquillbit created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labquillbit, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Labquillbit, he will try to impress you with trees.

Labquillbit's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Labquillbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Fast once a month.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. You must pray to Labquillbit nine times a day.