Mifjigzak is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, merciless dugong.

Mifjigzak created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifjigzak, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mifjigzak, he will remove you from existence.

Mifjigzak's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Mifjigzak's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about dark energy near dolphins while wearing indigo shoes and balancing eight copper spheres on your head.