Fidwigbat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient horse.

Fidwigbat created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidwigbat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fidwigbat, he will turn you into a puffin.

Fidwigbat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fidwigbat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain tights during rituals.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not prepare figs while wearing dresses.

4. Do not wear jumpers marked with fawn.

5. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.