Quartjansit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, smart whale.

Quartjansit created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartjansit, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quartjansit, he will be very sad.

Quartjansit's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Quartjansit's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Never sprint in winter.