Kipxemdin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, grumpy capybara.

Kipxemdin created the Cigar Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipxemdin, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kipxemdin, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Kipxemdin's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Kipxemdin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Kipxemdin.

2. Never eat lentils on holy days.

3. Do not wear tights marked with yellow.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not dye your hair red.