Dumcamnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fast goose.

Dumcamnurl created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumcamnurl, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dumcamnurl, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dumcamnurl's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dumcamnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not take Dumcamnurl's name in vain.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Dumcamnurl loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.