Quamkinwit Gofduding is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, astonishing duck.

Quamkinwit Gofduding created silver seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamkinwit Gofduding, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quamkinwit Gofduding, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Quamkinwit Gofduding's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Quamkinwit Gofduding's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Remain bowed during prayer.