Jabparkbud is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, awe-inspiring clam.

Jabparkbud created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabparkbud, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jabparkbud, he will boil you in a big pot.

Jabparkbud's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Jabparkbud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Never skip in the presence of elders.

3. Never talk about tortoises.

4. Do not keep nine shrews in a large pit.

5. Never handle silicon while unclean.