Monhunpon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, capable seal.

Monhunpon created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Monhunpon, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Monhunpon, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Monhunpon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Monhunpon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three gold sculptures of Monhunpon on top of important buildings.

2. Do not take Monhunpon's name in vain.

3. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

4. Never touch ash while clean.

5. Never eat beans.