Bepstikflis is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying meerkat.

Bepstikflis created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepstikflis, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bepstikflis, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bepstikflis' most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Bepstikflis' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bepstikflis.

2. Hide if seven mites approach from the west.

3. Never mark doors with green.

4. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

5. Never feed cucumbers to horses while wearing skirts.