Fidnurzak is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, merciful bird.

Fidnurzak created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Fidnurzak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fidnurzak, he will turn you into a worm.

Fidnurzak's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fidnurzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

4. Never mix bananas with blood.

5. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.