Zenkencam is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, vain fairy.

Zenkencam created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenkencam, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zenkencam, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zenkencam's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Zenkencam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never mark doors with white.

4. Never touch oil while tainted.

5. Zenkencam loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.