Yattmobzog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, deceitful seal.

Yattmobzog created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattmobzog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yattmobzog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yattmobzog's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Yattmobzog's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four sheep approach from the north.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yattmobzog.

5. Do not speak about peas.