Tenbafbem is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, passionate clam.

Tenbafbem created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tenbafbem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tenbafbem, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tenbafbem's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tenbafbem's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Run away if seven moths approach from the north.

5. Never speak aloud of names.