Tonkveen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, generous goose.

Tonkveen created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkveen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tonkveen, she will send minions to preach to you.

Tonkveen's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tonkveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to mites while wearing tights.

2. Always remove coats before entering holy places.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never skip near otters.

5. Do not place strawberries upon stone.