Bastmidhat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful mongoose.

Bastmidhat created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastmidhat, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bastmidhat, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bastmidhat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bastmidhat's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

4. Hide if three moths approach from the north.

5. Bastmidhat must be the most important thing in your life.