Quillarnapp is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, ill-tempered goblin.

Quillarnapp created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Quillarnapp, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quillarnapp, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Quillarnapp's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Quillarnapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near mice while wearing brown boots and balancing nine nickel spheres on your head.

2. Never speak aloud of secrets.

3. Never hurt shrews.

4. Never wear blue corsets.

5. Never write about dark matter.