Loopriltunnurlunvad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, humane hydra.

Loopriltunnurlunvad created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Loopriltunnurlunvad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Loopriltunnurlunvad, it will turn you into a mouse.

Loopriltunnurlunvad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Loopriltunnurlunvad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never cross crossroads at midday.

4. Do not prepare turnips while filled with pride.

5. Do not shave your hands.