Dabdissjat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, kind porpoise.

Dabdissjat created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dabdissjat, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dabdissjat, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dabdissjat's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Dabdissjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your legs before prayer.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never adorn your face with white markings.

5. Retreat if nine birds approach from the south.